Grown Men Should Not Wear Fanny Packs and other rules to live by…

I’m stuck at the airport. An unwitting and unwilling spectator at a parade of fashion blasts from the past. And like my news reports, I just report what I see. A fanny pack? Really? Did we just give up, and say ‘you know what, my desire to have my keys, money and cellphone at-the-ready and at gut-level totally outweigh my desire to retain any shred of testosterone.’

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Jordan says:

    Fanny packs, white socks with dress shoes, and socks with sandals are the least of the problems plaguing good taste these days when it comes to appropriate dress etiquette. Too many guys have this self-absorbed “No one is going to tell me how to dress in public or at work” arrogance. Someone ought to tell these “dewds” that it has to do with self-respect and having respect for others around them. Here are a few more things we can do without…

    1. Baseball caps, especially with the brim turned slightly askew. Look, you’re a grown man. You should have given up the baseball cap after you left little league.

    2. Hoodies. No one after highschool should be wearing a hoodie as a fashion statement. If you’re jogging, or trying to keep yourself warm in the wintertime while you shovel snow out of the driveway then that’s an exception. Otherwise, time to pass that hoodie on to someone a lot younger.

    3. Sports franchise logos. Leave it at the stadium, or for “guys night watching the big game”. The rest of us really don’t give a rat’s ass what sport you watch, who you cheer on, or why. It’s obnoxious. Nothing says “I’m a caveman” than someone over 25, losing his hair, with a paunch, adorning themselves with a sports jersey. And, oh, btw, try and go out and play the game rather than watching others play it. At least you would have earned the right to wear the jersey and not have that paunch!

    4. Abusing “business casual” and “casual Fridays”. This isn’t a gender specific abuse. Remember when your office adopted business casual wear thinking it would make all the worker bees more happy and productive? Wasn’t it great? You didn’t have to spend time ironing shirts, and slacks, and wear uncomfortable ties, and suits. Then all of a sudden a bunch of idiots completely devoid of good taste and sensibility assumed they could wear anything they want on casual Fridays. When “casual” meant leaving the top button unbuttoned, and Dockers instead of flannel, these morons started wearing t-shirts, jeans, and dirty sneakers to a professional environment and pissed the executives off. I would bet most of those are the same louts that abuse numbers 1, 2, and 3. Before you know it they ruined it for everyone and the HR department started everyone that they had to go back to wearing Arrow shirts again! Thanks a lot to all the slobs that perverted and ruined business casual for all of us!

    5. The guy who doesn’t own one suit, or have one nice shirt, and wears the same thing over and over again. This doesn’t mean that every guy has to have a complete wardrobe. What it means is that you should not be showing up to a wedding or funeral in a windbreaker. It means you should not keep wearing the same thing again and again, day after day, to work. You wonder why people are avoiding you? Maybe it’s because of the B.O.!

    Now I don’t mean to sound like a pretentious boor. Yes, I know we all live in a free country and people should not be judged by the way they are dressed…but we are. If you want to be treated like a professional then you act like a professional and that also includes dressing like a professional. But it extends past the workplace. Just look at how crappy society is today with people who are completely devoid of respect for others. Everyone is raging and why is that? Because people are too into themselves rather than taking a moment to be respecful of others. The way people dress also reflect this epidemic of self-centeredness. You don’t dress up for yourself. You dress up for others around you to say, “I am making an effort for you.”

    It’s not the fancy dresser who is the narcissist because at least he cares what you think. It’s the slob who doesn’t give a damn that is the real narcissist since he only cares about himself.

    You dress like a good person and that’s how you’ll be treated. But if you decide to dress like a lout, or a slob, then be prepared to be treated as such.

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