Your F’ed Up Fear and Why You Need to Kiss It Goodbye

“I was already 10 years into my career as a TV News Reporter, and working in a Top 10 market when I had what I’d like to call a FEARPIPHANY.”

 

That’s how one of the chapters of the book I’m writing starts. It’s the chapter dealing with fear. I would love to share it with you right now but It’s not done yet, and I don’t believe in releasing your story until the time is right.

But, the weird thing is – while I am spending a lot of time this week writing about fears I have overcome, and researching and writing ways to encourage others to release their fears, guess what? Yeah, I had some fear lingering, just sitting around, taking up space, and I didn’t even realize it. Ain’t that some sh%#? I mean, how can I help others to release their fears when I’m not doing it myself?

Thank you for all that you do. I love you!Here’s how I realized this. I took my favorite yoga class this morning. My instructor, Alex Hall, always ends the class with the most beautiful meditation. She encourages us to think of someone who inspires us, picture ourselves looking them in the eye, and saying to them, “May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you be safe, may you be whole.” Then she encourages us to do the same for someone we don’t know in class, someone we love, and someone who we find difficult to love. It’s some serious mood-shifting, gratitude-building, perspective-gathering stuff.

Today, after doing this a zillion times, in a zillion classes, I truly thought about those words. Those wishes are truly beautiful gifts. Imagine someone wishing you to be safe. And to be whole. Just think about that. What loving, selfless thoughts, right?

I realized I carry around with me the fear of danger constantly. I am a news reporter, if you didn’t know. And I know about every robbery, every car break-in, every murder, every shooting, every iPhone theft, everything. And I worry it’s going to happen to me. I carry Mace. I walk from my car to my home every night, with that Mace in my hand. Yes, I live in Washington D.C., one of the top 20 most dangerous cities in the country. So, the fear is founded. But, if I keep thinking about it, and worrying about it, then that feeling takes up valuable space, and lives rent-free in my head. And guess what, thinking about it does NOTHING to change it. So, I get more of what I think about. More danger, more scariness, more unsafe feelings. How does that make me feel? Worried, anxious, scared. So, today, I commit to placing that fear in a box, and leaving it on the curb. Because it is not serving me. And, can you imagine what would happen if I replaced those hours of thought (yes, I think about it that much) with positive thought? What could I accomplish? How could I serve this world?

What do YOU fear that doesn’t serve you? I have a few more fears I’m dealing with that you’ll read about once the book is finished. I’ve cleared up many. But, it’s a constant practice. You clear up one, and another comes calling. Fear is insidious, it’s like a weed.

One of the best things I ever did – that launched me on my journey to helping others is to read Gabby Bernstein’s book, “May Cause Miracles.” She truly changed my life, and for that, I am grateful. One of the most powerful things I ever read in her book was that FEAR stands for false evidence appearing real. I’ll let that sink in.

See, most fears aren’t rooted in reality. My fear may have had its beginnings in some pretty real stuff, crime rates and reports, specifically, but they weren’t balanced at all with thoughts of safety, and reports of all those people who never were victims of crime, and never had their iPhone stolen or car broken into. Most importantly, they were making me feel unsafe, unhappy and victimized. And I realized I had been carrying that around, and transmitting it loudly to the world with the way I carried myself, with the way I felt, with the way I talked. And how can you go after your dreams and goals, be a light for others, and do your life’s work when you feel unsafe? Short answer: you can’t. I am stronger than my fear. So, buh-bye fear. See ya.

What fear do you carry around that doesn’t serve you? Let me know. Comment below or reach out to me on Facebook.

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