Posted on / by Debra Alfarone / in How To, Uncategorized

3 things NOT to do in 2023

If you are like me, your inbox is jammed with email newsletters and challenges to help make 2023 your best, brightest, happiest, healthiest, zestiest, and sexiest year ever. As an Oprah-following, James Clear-reading, Gretchen Rubin-loving best-life-ever aficionado, it can be a bit overwhelming. And by a bit, I mean a LOT. 

To be honest, I hesitated to write this post. What can I possibly add to this overcrowded space of New Year resolutions? But then, Mr. Clear hit me with this: 

If you want to write a book, you should focus on becoming the type of person who writes every day.

Damn. So, based on my pretty extensive research, here are 3 things NOT to do to make sure you create a powerful 2023: 

Making sleep the last thing on your list. 

Who schedules sleep? Isn’t it the last thing we do every day? Yes, and it’s the most important. It’s the most effective and cheapest beauty treatment we have out there. It’s the most effective therapy we have. It’s the healthiest option for living a full and zestful life.  

Hear me out. Studies show that when you are low on sleep, you make poor eating choices. Loss of sleep leads to an increase in hypertension, which puts you at risk for heart disease and stroke, which are leading causes of death. 

But, you have a lot to do, and a lot to accomplish, you say? Yeah, me too. As a business-building, ladder-climbing career woman, I went light on sleep for years. Not anymore.  

Now, I lean into self-care. I bought some sunny yellow sheets that make getting up feel like a dose of happiness. I found the perfect white noise playlist on Spotify and I schedule sleep. Ummm, what? Yes. I put my botox appointment, and my gym workouts in my calendar, so why not schedule sleep? Sleep is essential to live. 

Keeping to your damn self. 

As a TV correspondent, I do a lot of talking. So, when I’m off the clock, I tend to keep to myself and keep my circle to just a few trusted friends and family members. But, science shows happiness is linked to developing warmer relationships. Calling up one old friend a week or making plans once a month with a group can actually lead to you to be happier. 

Even talking to strangers can help spur those feelings of connectedness. I have two personable rescue dogs who make it easy for me to talk to most people when I’m out on a walk (unless they have a dog, which means my two will go bonkers). And, I love giving a compliment to a random person – it’s the best way to get that dopamine flowing and get good vibes flowing all around. “THAT SKIRT!!!! You look great!”

NOT setting boundaries. 

For the love of God, if you don’t set boundaries, you are setting yourself up to be trampled on by the universe. Never thought of boundaries? You have them. Trust me. EVERYONE does. 

Here are a few examples of situations bound to spark ideas of clear boundaries within you:

  • Random friend calls you at 11:30pm.
  • Coworker touches your back. 
  • Boss wants you to take on an extra role at your same pay scale. 
  • Person stands close behind you on line at grocery store. 
  • Stranger reaches out to pet your dog. 

I have a friend who talks about herself every time I pick up her call. The entire time. I could have a family member in the hospital and just got fired from my job, but damn if they ask me how I am. My boundary now is you don’t get access to talk to me just because you call. And when we do get on the phone, it will be a 50/50 conversation. If she goes on and doesn’t ask me about myself. I will tell her I have 3 things I want to talk about too – may I share that with you? 

Boundaries are essential to friendships, to dating, to work, to everything. It’s not enough to set them, you must also protect them. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But, it’s necessary. Essential. Required. 

What are YOU leaving behind in 2022? Comment below.

And if you like the advice in this blog post, you may want to listen to my podcast, “Sh*t I Wish I Knew In My Twenties,” or be part of my email list.


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