Posted on / by Debra Alfarone / in How To, Podcast

Podcast queen Femi Redwood is unapologetically her…but she wasn’t always. How 90s icons DaBrat, Cam’ron and Ashlee Simpson helped shape her.

Femi Redwood is the Podcast Manager at 1010WINS in NYC and the Host of the Beyond Black History Month podcast, Co-chair of NABJ’s LGBTQ+ Task Force, and a Board Member for NLGJA.

In this episode, the former award-winning TV Anchor and Correspondent shares how 90s icon DaBrat helped her to come out when she was 19. She shares how if you’re gonna wear vintage, you just might have to accept that your a$$ may hang out, and talks about how being unapologetically you is what every human should strive for.

Sh*t I Wish I Knew In My Twenties (SIWIKIMT) is a podcast dedicated to helping 20-somethings thrive in their twenties, not just survive.

Host Debra Alfarone knows how tough being in your twenties can be. As a high-school dropout turned-network-TV-correspondent, she learned most of life’s lessons the hard way. She overcame the odds and now covers the White House for CBS News nationally. She’s also a confidence coach for young women in the TV news industry.

Femi: So here’s the thing. I’m right on my screen. Am I normal?

Debra: I don’t think you’ll ever be normal but your phone is still messed up. Let’s get into it. Okay. Hey, everyone, welcome to BEEP I wish I knew my 20s. Today we have Femi Redwood. She’s a podcaster extraordinaire, she has been seen on television worldwide on advice on CBS News. She’s an award-winning journalist, an anchor reporter and podcast host. She’s just about everything.

Femi: Are we doing the things? I’m so excited! Yes. Let’s do this.

Debra: Is that your podcasting voice? It is? Sounds like you spend a lot of money on that voice.

Femi: Oh, I did. I did only for me to throw it all out the window and just talk.

Debra: I know right? But I think it helps us too because I’ve got that, like you and I, similarly, you spent a lot of money with a specific voice coach, who is the classiest chick I’ve ever met so classy.

Femi: Like she is oozing class and I don’t even understand how she’s so just like poised.

Debra: Big shout out to Priscilla Xiang. Incredible woman that we both of course, because we’re both journalists. We ran across this woman and like she is but she’s so classy that I always feel like Ooh, my nails are chipped. Oh, my teeth like she’s so cool. So Priscilla, we love you. So you were a on-air journalist. You were working in Flint, you did your time at vice, CBS News. And you’re doing podcasting, which is a little bit of a twist. Not totally, but it’s kind of because you’re no longer you’re able to see what you think a little bit more.

Femi: Honestly, it is more amazing than I would have ever expected. You know, it got to a place where, though I’ve been in news for what almost a decade now why? I don’t even know it’s been a minute, right? So I started behind the camera as a producer, writer, well, Pa writer, producer, that whole directory reporter anchor that whole thing. And it just got to the point where I reached these places that I wanted to reach in my career and was very excited about it. It was great. But I still wasn’t happy. I think we, when you’re younger, especially with a career like reporting where there is a, almost set path – We think it’s going to feel different and be better when we reach our goal. But it wasn’t. I enjoyed… I was proud of the work I did. In terms of the fact that it was accurate recording. Everything I did was always accurate, or truthful. All of that jazz. I was proud of that. But I wasn’t happy. It just I would just there would be some days where I would come home and come home as in like, literally this is in the pandemic. So like I’m shooting outside and then walking back inside of my apartment. I would just come home and it’s like I am what Wait, can I curse on your podcasts?

Debra: Oh, hell yeah.

Femi: Okay, okay. And just be like, I was bored shitless I hate what I’m doing. I didn’t know if I was burnt out. I didn’t know if I just wasn’t feeling as great as like, challenge creative. Why? Like it just, I was not happy. I started to that point sort of freelancing at 1010WINS radio was like a radio station that I was a PA at years and years ago. And I started freelancing. I was supposed to be an anchor. But Lord, when I tell you that soundboard was so confusing, I just could not learn it. It was like the most confusing thing ever in the world. So I started reporting. And it was fine, you know, but it was the same thing where I just wasn’t happy. I wasn’t loving the way that we present news. And when I say we, I mean journalists in general, there’s very much a way that journalists do news where it’s like shirt, we’re telling you the who, what, when, where, why, but it’s very sanitized. It’s very, my name is Famy, redwood, and I am reporting from here and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and I’m wearing my straight wig, and I’m wearing my jewel-colored dress, and I’m wearing my eyelashes. And I like all of those things. One, I want to do them. But needless to say, I just wasn’t happy. I wasn’t loving it. And so in all actuality, my brand manager which is basically the equivalent of a news director for radio stations, hit me up about this opportunity to run the podcast department, but I was like, yeah, no, I don’t really know what I want to do. But like Yeah, I kind of think I’m over news. I’m just bored, not loving it lovely. Respect the station. Everything they do, but just was bored. My talk to a friend of mine who was like, you know, just try it. You might like it. I talked to my wife who said the same thing. Just try it. You might like it. And I was like, All right, I’m gonna try it. If I don’t like it, I’m out. I’m just gonna be out because I just assumed I really wouldn’t like it. I And I think also to if I’m gonna be completely frank in TV, at least speaking for myself, there’s this sort of vanity of liking to be on screen liking for people to see you like it just is what it is. And so I was like, am I going to miss that? Like, I don’t know. So needless to say, I was like, alright, I’ll take this position. Let’s do it and fell in love where like, I could not imagine doing anything else. Besides the fact that I love the way that we can tell stories. I love running the department Not gonna lie. I love being a boss. Like, that’s fun. But the biggest thing, honestly, is the fact that like, I can show up at work every day as me aesthetically, maybe some days with my hair natural like this some days with a purple wig on some days with a wig that is color one B, which is natural black. FYI, that is one B if you ever want to know. Yeah, yeah, somebody thinks, oh, you’re gonna not… You’re gonna learn all the things Hair Vivi. That’s where you get your wig from hair Vivi. Sometimes I’m like, literally shocked that I like work this much. It makes no sense.

Debra: And by the way, that is something for all you 20 somethings out there know that you might think that x is what you want, but it’s really y. And you don’t even know if you get x because x right now wasn’t.

Femi: it wasn’t I thought I literally felt like the gates of heaven was gonna open up once I finally reached these, you know, these career heights. And it just wasn’t, I just wasn’t able to bring my full authentic self to work. And if I’m not able to bring the best part of me to my job, what am I doing? What am I doing?

Debra: You’re so right. You’re so right. And really, that’s a lesson for everyone. If you can’t bring your full authentic self to anything like a relationship, it’s

Femi: don’t get me started on relationships. Okay, okay, we can talk. But seriously, though, like, yeah, how

Debra: like, yeah, how many times have we tried to be something that we are not it? Oh, my God. And I’m still trying, I’m still trying, I mean, well, no, in my relationship on him being me. But I’m still finding myself trying to be these things. And like, This podcast is my outlet.

Femi: I think so often, especially like in the 20s. You know, we go to others in order to feed our soul, we go to other things, not necessarily the thing we want. So whether or not that is clubbing until 2am In the morning, and then going to work at 3am, whatever it is, we do all of these horrible relationships, all of these things to sort of feed our soul, which isn’t really the thing that we need, you know,

Debra: you’re really taking on some topics that people need to know that they don’t know, like, beyond Black History Month, and your pride podcast. And so yes, in the most rewarding thing about these podcasts, I mean, because you’re hearing from people.

Femi: I think, honestly, it is hearing from people because they didn’t see themselves in stories, and they didn’t see hear themselves in stories, see the stories being told. So one of my favorite stories that I did for the podcast, it’s okay to say gay, we launched it for pride. And the whole idea behind the name was that you know, all of these anti-gay don’t say gay bills or these anti-trans law. So this is our way of saying like, it’s okay, literally. But one of my favorite stories that I did was one about how elderly LGBTQ people basically say, Don’t forget about them this pride, because they sort of fought for all of these rights that we have now. But when you think about Pride celebrations, they’re not really geared towards our elders. And so I spoke to this woman, actually, one of the producers spoke to this woman who was just amazing, first of all, so much energy, but just like hearing her stories, hearing how she talked about, like her friends that were in nursing homes and afraid to for other friends to visit because she didn’t want to be outed and treated unfairly. And so just to hear their stories, but also to know that this woman never would have imagined her being the focus of a podcast. So almost it’s like making people realize that their voices and their stories matter. And that’s undeniably one of like, my most favorite thing ever, is just letting them know that like their story is just as important as Kim Kardashian is in that momen.

Debra: you’ve said, listen, Brian is not just a month like you need to write LGBTQ plus stories. All year round, all year round.

Femi: That’s right. We’re here. We exist in the same thing, though, with black history. And that’s why I named that the black podcast beyond Black History Month, because every Black History Month, we do our four weeks of stories. And then we’re done. Now that there’s Juneteenth. We do have some really tacky Juneteenth merchandise and stores, Walmart, I’m looking at you. But besides that, but yeah, that’s what was really important just amplifying these voices that don’t get amplified enough. And that’s one reason that I love my job so much is that I’m in the power in this position where I can do that and I never had that before. I thought it would have gotten that in TV, but nope, didn’t get it. You have

Debra: how we’re and we need smart black women in power.

Femi: Yes, we do. And that’s the other thing, honestly. And this, never in a million years that I think I would ever, number one, be a manager, but also want to be a manager. And when I tell you that I love working with these producers, they have less experienced than me. And I love that because whereas I’m like this curmudgeon that’s bitter and annoyed, they are so excited, so full of energy and life. But also, honestly, it feels really great to be in this position of mentoring people that are just excited about doing these stories. Like I kind of love it. It’s weird. Why do I love work? That’s not what’s supposed to happen. I should be hating work.

Debra: Oh, no, no, because now you’re finally fulfilled. Like, I think you’ve, you’ve hit the intersection of I like telling stories, what you always did. But now they’re stories that you want to tell, and you’re in charge and you get to pick and isn’t that we always want to do because you work in a newsroom and you’re like, hey, I have this really great story. They’re like, I understand. And there’s a water main break over here.

Femi: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, literally, that’s and it’s not to say that like, those stories, the fires, the shootings, all of those things aren’t important, because Sure, they undeniably are like, I just had one story about violence interrupters. You know, community members who go out and they talk to people before a beef blows up into gun violence. So undeniably, I understand how shootings are important. I live in a black neighborhood. So I get how and why these things are important. But what was more important to me, so tell the stories that really got below the issues, rather than just 35-year-old shot? Boom, we’re done surface store down.

Debra: Going back to your 20s Do you think? Did you ever see this for yourself?

Femi: No, no, I think in your 20s

Debra: I didn’t know you and your twin My God,

Femi: I was such an amazing asshole. Like, I was the best asshole me to, like, make no mistake, I was an asshole. You know what, it’s almost like you go through these waves, right? So in my 20s, I have like, all the confidence in the world, even though like I didn’t know shit, I’m confident like girl, like, just be happy. You’re paying your rent on time, which actually did not get paid on time most of the time. But that’s not my fault. kind of my fault. But that’s not the point. Anyway. Moving on, moving on. So in my 20s, I was a dick, but in a great deck. And when I say a great tip, because I think so often women are told to shrink themselves. And so in my 20s, I did not shrink myself. I was like I was me. And I don’t think I’ve ever really shrunk myself. But there’s certainly been times in my career after my 20s where I then shrunk myself in those instances. And I remember my professor was a journalism class. And my professor, I don’t know how it came up. But at that point, I used to also have natural hair. And I had like little two-strand twists in my hair. And I remember in class saying, I’m not going to work at a place that’s going to require me to straighten my hair. I’m going to keep my hair just like this. So in my 20s, that’s who I was. And then I became on it got on air and like, went away. Like, you know, stuff that Brazilian keratin in this let’s go. Right, so yeah, that was kind of in my 20s Yeah, unapologetically me

Debra: I was unapologetically not even like I was, I didn’t know who I was. How did you have that sense of self at that age?

Femi: Well, I was unapologetically me and other areas. I was not. So maybe one area was compensating for the other. So for example, my first TV job was as a production assistant trainee, something like that at Fox five. Were basically a glorified intern, where I made minimum wage, which was amazing. Let me tell you New York City on minimum wage, fantastic. I was in the closet for a while for a very long time. Like I remember, I became really good friends with a makeup artist. And I remember every time we would talk, I would always say my boyfriend, my boyfriend, my boyfriend, not my girlfriend. So I guess in the same ways that I was unapologetically me, there were still parts of me that I was hiding. So yeah, so like, I just don’t want like anyone to think like I thought I or other I was perfect because I certainly wasn’t. I was, you know, presenting, certainly as me but so keeping very big parts of me hidden because I was hiding so much of me. I then almost overcompensated by being so much of me here. Do you know what I mean? They’re almost two separate people. Yeah, so I, yeah, yeah, I guess that’s it. I guess. I really wasn’t ever, but in some ways, I was like, on the outside. I was inside. I wasn’t.

Debra: It’s interesting. I think that I identify with that a little bit because I was hiding who I was, and we all have our own shit. To hide, right. But I was definitely hiding that I came from a background of like a crazy family I was I was like, Oh, she gets over there. And I’m going to just, I’m this perfect person when I was not right.

Femi: Earlier in my 20s, I did not realize that two things can exist at once. And so like, even let’s, let’s look at family, for example, I can have a crazy whack job, have a effing family, but still have had like a decent enough childhood. Do you know what I mean? I could still like, present this way. And think that like, I can present very much authentically me, but still hold a part of me in because two things can exist at once. So that’s one thing that I didn’t really come to terms with understand until later. Yeah, two things can exist at once in 2022.

Debra: The world is a little better at, like God accepting us with our new one. Yes.

Femi: And, you know, growing up as a black woman in the south LGBTQ,

doing southern things.

Debra: Like, I can only imagine a difference between then and now. And so can you take me on that journey a little bit for clarity for everyone?

Femi: I was raised half in South Carolina, half in Delaware. What was interesting is where I lived in South Carolina was a predominantly black community. Whereas in Delaware, it was the exact opposite. Not a lot of black folks in Delaware. But the community that I lived in, was very close to what’s considered like a gay beach resort town. So two very, very different communities. But like, what was your question again? So here’s the thing that’s interesting. I did not actually realize that I was gay until I was like 19, maybe. And this is why and this is why it’s a bring up, you know, we’re going beyond 20s earlier than that. So I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. And Jehovah’s Jehovah witnesses. They don’t believe in premarital sex, they don’t believe in dating until you are ready for marriage. And I knew that I wanted to live outside of Delaware, I knew that I wanted something different from what I was seeing in my community in terms of the whole, like, picket fence, 2.5 kids, all of that jazz. So in my mind, I was just like, I’m not interested in boys, because I don’t want to get married. Who wants to get married at this age? So I didn’t even realize that is how insane only I don’t want to say sheltered, but like that is just how I just sort of like, oh, well, it makes sense that I’m not interested in boys. I don’t want to get married. So it wasn’t until literally like night 1818 Like a couple of months before 19 When like there was a girl that like me, I was like, No, we can be friends because I’m not gay, but like ooh, Da Brat is kind of cute. I don’t know if you remember the rapper. Da Brat was everything I have like a sprite poster wasn’t a sprite but it was some poster of Da Brat.. and then my father. So I was going to college, like an hour 45 my first college and our 45 away from my parents which means I was you know doing laundry at home like doing all coming home once a week for like, the things that you can’t really afford in school. And so my father found out and he caught himself taking away my car as my punishment. Those couple of days I was home and I tell you I made his life miserable. I would be like, Oh, I’m cramping. I need medicine. I need you to go to the store. Oh, I don’t have any tampons. I need you to go to the store. Oh crap, I need pads, I need you to go to the store. Needless to say he got over that very quickly. Fast forward. I’m know I’m jumping around a little bit but like oh, and I got married a couple years ago he was there. So we are good now bla bla bla bla bla, I’m the favorite kid because I’d be doing favorite kid things. When I left Delaware for my second college like the real college and I really, really went to was an HBCU in Mississippi HBCUs for those who don’t know what stands for historically black colleges and universities. And so because I was so concerned about like Mississippi, hate crimes, all of these things. I really like legit I had two identities in Mississippi. So all of my girlfriend’s caught me cam that was my nickname off of the rat based off of the rapper Cameron. I don’t know if y’all remember but he changed. He changed the game with the pink polos. And then the straight people knew me as failing to different identities. Yeah. So while I’m sitting there and when here’s why I bring it back here because while I’m sitting there in my journalism class telling my professor I’m only going to work for a new station that’s going to let me wear my hair the same way my and it’s natural texture. He also only knew me as Femi not Cam.

Debra: Some people who don’t even have to pretend that there’s somebody else have no idea how lucky they have it.

Femi: Yeah, well, that’s what and one thing I’ll say about today is, especially when you think about LGBTQ acceptance, it is so much better than it used to be, like leaps and bounds better. But it’s almost kind of the same thing too, in terms of a lot of marginalized issues. I can’t imagine I’ll certainly new stations have a very, very long way to go very long way to go. But even if for a fleeting moment, in 2020, there were those moments where news directors were saying, we stand in solidarity with black folks. Can you imagine that 10 years ago?

Debra: And in 2020, you know, I know you and I’ve had that discussion. And I remember thinking, like, I don’t know enough of that about what you deal with on a daily basis. And here, you know, we worked together for so long, and we were friends and like, you know, I just didn’t know,right?

Femi: You know what it is, and like, I’m gonna be completely real here. Sometimes it is so uncomfortable talking to white people about race, because you don’t know if they’re gonna get defensive. You don’t know. Or the other thing of defensive is like, where they get too much. Oh, my God, I’m so sorry. And then you end up comforting someone, and it’s just like, Okay, I’m gonna do all right. I’m just gonna snatch across the a fair. Yeah, it gets it can be. It can be work, let me say, and I say this, like, my wife is white. You know, I say this, like with my wife, or sometimes we have these conversations of like, sometimes you just, I don’t feel like it. I just don’t feel like it.

Debra: It’s not your job.

Femi: No, no, it ain’t my job. Yeah, no, I, well, granted, because of the positions I have within all of these volunteer advocacy organizations, I will certainly turn it into my job. But that’s what I feel like it, the rest of my time is need to go to like Game of Thrones and very important things.

Debra: And it’s funny, you bring up boundaries, because this is something for all your 20-somethings out there, I did not realize that I did not have boundaries in certain areas, and your boundaries, you have to set them, then you have to protect them. Yes, I didn’t know it in my 20s. I did not know it two weeks ago that certain places, I’m not really setting them because I don’t feel I deserve boundaries in these areas. And I’ll reason why I don’t is because you know, of all the things you carry around with you that you’ve heard growing up, you’re not good enough, you’re not nice, you’re not this, you’re not that. And it’s sometimes it lives rent free in your head. And all the work that I do is like Jesus, I don’t know boundary about that

Femi: I hear this a lot from other black millennials, our where we have issues with boundaries is with our families, because you know, just because of being black, there are these shared struggles. And there’s just a different type of community. Because again, granted a lot of it built from trauma that black folks have compared to other communities. But needless to say, because of that, there is this almost expectation that you have to do things for family members. So my thing and I’ve been so good about it that I am so proud of myself for the most part as like when I set boundaries with my family members, this is unacceptable. If you speak to me this way, if you do this, we cannot keep in communication, we our communication will be very when we do have those, you know shared environments, those places where we’re all around each other, it will be a very, very stiff interaction. And so for the most part, I can stick to those boundaries. The only time I can’t, although I’ve gotten better recently is when my mom will say things and I don’t think I’m going to come back to this point in a second. I think with parents, as children, we want our parents to be perfect. Because we see them as these like greater than us beings that raised us these giants, they were older deadheaded out but in all actuality, our parents are just just as screwed up as we are and trying to figure out life in the same way that we are. So needless to say I say all of that to say there’ll be times where my mom who admittedly also has a problem with boundaries. My mom will say, Oh, well, you know, he’s trying or done it at it. Why don’t you help them? And it’s been only recently, I would say within the past six months where I would say no, this is my boundary. I need you to stop pushing it. I need you to respect that boundary. It is okay if you allow him to cross your boundaries. He will not be crossing mine. But yeah, boundaries with family can be tough. And when you think about it, they’re also like your first your first friends your first social interactions, your first everything so of course it’s going to be tough with family.

Debra: When Josh is unhappy about something like when He’s depressed or he’s sad, or whatever it is, my boundary was that I can’t be happy if he’s not happy. And that’s something in relationships was like, well, if only he was happy than I can be happy. And we do this we hook our happiness on other people or on other things. But I get that, yes. And it’s a boundary, I can choose to be happy today. And you know, I’m sorry that you’re doing this, I’m sorry, you’re filling this way. And let me know what I can do for you. And we’ll be over here being happy. Because what? Why not?

Femi: Right, thinking back on, like, putting our happiness into other things. And that’s part of the reason why when I took this position, I was so shocked, because I thought previously that I would be happy at this place. And I’d be happy at that place. And it didn’t happen. So then what happens is they will, is it me? Am I just over this? Am I doing something wrong? Would I be happy? If maybe I got like, $20,000 more, maybe I’d be happier if instead of in this department, I was in this department. But like, no, no, regardless of what happens, you know, I want to be happy. And I would like to say that’s where I am. Now, regardless of what happens to this job. I would like to say that that’s where I am now. But admittedly, I can also say that with like, all the privilege in the world knowing that like, let’s say I lose my job tomorrow, of course, I can still be happy. I have a wife who like does a pretty good job. Yeah, absolutely. How like, so I don’t know. I don’t know if I can say that. I would really be happy if, if I didn’t have everything because I don’t know how truthful that would be. Do you know what I mean? Like, I don’t know. First piece of advice. If you happen to love vintage clothes, love it. Beautiful, great. But if you’re going to wear vintage clothes, that is let’s say 40 years old, be prepared, that the seams will rip when you are at work and your ass may be exposed. But you’ll look great. Right before that rip. Well, you might even look right after that rip, depending on who’s around keep safety pins on you. Just in case when I tell you like the embolic Luckily, I had a cardigan to like, cover my ass. But like I literally had to like walk to the gap and buy something from a bomb. Anyhow, good times good times. Which actually I think this is a pattern because now that I think about it when I was in college, back that ass up was one of the songs that was on and poppin. I remember back in that asset dropping like it’s hot. And my cheap pants ripped at the club as well. I also had to go home. I think there is this fear of I got to unpack this. Yeah, it might be buying clothes, my correct size, episode number two, we will Yeah, we’ll come back to that later. When you are younger, you tend to think at least based off of my experience, that when you get older, you are going to have all of the things, all of the monies, all of the homes, all of the things, that’s typically not the way life works out. So my advice is plan just in case you don’t have all of the things and what I mean by that is like Don’t live like a super boring life or you don’t do things. But just plan that, like you might not have all of those things. And when I say playing that a part of planning that is knowing that it’s okay, if you don’t, don’t hook all of your expectations onto these things. Because if you don’t get it, then that turns into disappointment that turns into self-doubt that turns into questioning all of your choices. And nothing good comes out of that negativity. So just plan that maybe won’t have these things and that’s okay. Like, that’s okay.

Debra: But another thing is that I worked so hard all these years that now I’m at a point where I’m like working hard still. I’m like, oh, when am I going to enjoy life? Maybe I should go on a beach vacation. Or maybe I should right? And so I have put off a lot of stuff to work.

Femi: Yeah, no sane, seriously, it’s insane how many things that we have put off for work. Just especially in this type of industry, where it’s always hustle, hustle, hustle. And I think also that like I am I will say I love the fact that Gen Zers are getting away from the very toxic hustle culture that like was ingrained in us. But like the hustle culture can be so toxic because like, there’s nothing wrong with just taking time off, call it a fancy sabbatical or just call it laying on your couch. There’s nothing wrong with taking time off or going to do the foolishness just enjoying life. Now rather than waiting.

Debra: I saw this meme the other day about what was that gap in your resume and someone said, Oh, that’s the only time I experienced joy who said we had to work all the time and not Sam and our resume. And then I also have clients who will leave it job and then they’re like, I don’t have a job. What am I going to do is like, enjoy it.

Femi: I thought my life would look one way. And it doesn’t. It looks so different than I could have ever expected or planned and I’m so grateful. I have an amazing wife who I’m going to smother in a second and force her to watch Law and Order reruns while eating really good salmon burger. A great job that I love. Very excited about this burger a great job but no, like, I would have never five years ago, I did not think this is where it would be. But I’m so grateful. This is where I’m at.

Debra: What is some you wish you knew in your 20s be authentically you both in and out?

Femi: If you’re questioning? They’re not worth it? Like, let it go. Let it go. Let it go, Lord, let it go. That could be and I won’t name names, but you know who I’m talking about? That could have all been? You know who child you know what, honestly, I think my biggest piece of advice is to just have your boundaries. Be kind, not nice. I do not believe in being nice being kind. Not nice. I hate that nice BS. But be authentically you.

Debra: Well, everybody follow Femi Redwood and tell us what podcasts we need to be following right now. This moment,right now at the second.

Femi: It’s called Beyond Black History Month. And then the other one is called it’s okay to say gay they are on all the podcast apps. Every single last thing. They’re all there ever. Yeah.

Debra: I love it. Thank you so much for telling the stories that need to be told and for sharing some. We wish we knew in our 20s Oh, Wayne, wait, one last thing I didn’t ask you to the one question I asked all the time. Oh, what is it? It’s what is your the one memory you wish you could erase from your 20s as far as like your hair and your outfit moment or job moment.

Femi: So remember Ashley Simpson and how she was wearing her hair that very like emo style wears like super straight. So imagine that except on a black woman with natural hair, which means I was straightening my hair. But if you know anything about black natural hair, it then turns into an afro as the day progresses. So up here would be an afro, like just an afro, and then down here would be like the straight spiky ends going everywhere. It was the ugliest monstrosity I have ever had in my life. And to add insult to injury, which is why I should know by now to buy makeup that matches. I have photos where I’m literally sitting in an apartment and like my face is 10 shades lighter than my neck and then you’ve got like the afro with the things go in here. And it was just the most insane monstrosity yet. I had the nerve to think I was killing the game. You could not tell me I was not serving you Ashley Simpson realness. It was horrible.

Debra: Listen I never knew anyone wanted to serve Ashley Simpson realness.

Femi: Listen, she had a couple of good songs on at the moment she had she had a good moment.

Debra: Make sure you hit subscribe. If you haven’t already. Tell a friend leave a review. It helps more than you know. You can also watch this interview on YouTube. Follow us on Instagram and Tiktok at Debra Alfarone for more about BEEP I wish I knew in my 20s and drop your email to be the first to know about new episodes. And guess what? I’ll send you my free GTFO Confidence Guide. Just drop your email at pages Debra Thanks for listening. We’ll see you next time.

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